no friends


I feel the most fragile when I really, really want something.I feel the most fragile when I really, really want something.
I moved to the end of the world one year ago today. I didn’t know
anyone up here back then, I don’t really know that many people now either.
Maybe only on the surface – the casual «hello» kind of knowing.
I have nobody close by to share deeper, intimate things with in my everyday life.
Sometimes, I joke about it, saying «I have no friends!» and then laughing.
But in reality it’s true. Joking and laughing is my biggest shield and defense mechanism in life.

Well, actually, talking about «no friends» – there is this one guy. But I suspect
that he has started to get some feelings for me, and I don’t want that to develop
any further, so….

Sometimes, when I go to bed, I miss the feeling of another body so bad that I hug and spoon with my pillow. It’s been three months and three days since the last time I kissed someone.



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